Last thread and now time for a newbie. I feel......honestly, in many ways I feel the lowest I've ever felt. Other days, I cannot stop laughing and feel giddy. Seriously. I know this will pass and hopefully my feelings /moods will stabilize a bit.
The incessant fighting amongst the kids is difficult. They are insecure and struggling. I feel like I've hit a bit of a wall with that. I hate to see them hurt although I just really feel like I'm at a loss some days.
Me? Please know I don't say this from a defeatist attitude-these are simply my feelings now. I cannot in one billion years imagine dating or getting into a relationship. I miss having someone to share funny stuff with. I miss someone telling me how cute I am (However-I would push then away anyway because I can't bear to hear that right now)and I have such mixed feelings about physical touch. Some days I just want to go have $ex with a faceless stranger as long as they promise not to talk to me after the fact. Isn't that horrible? I still have this insatiable desire to be in control and desired and I'm correlating it to sex. However, I've only been with a few people in my life but for some reason, that is what I crave. With no emotional attachment. Makes me sound classy, right? I have never felt this way before and don't even know how to articulate it.
The new hair is dark brown (I'm naturally dirty blonde) and it kind of suits my mood right now. Dark. This too shall pass.
Hope everyone had a great weekend.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
