LouR, Psst! He's going to have that affect on you for quite some time. Why? Because you don't have a clue what to expect from him. It's okay...that normal for us!
If your S17 is content to stay in NZ and attend classes there, then so be it. At least you've left the door open for him if things don't work out. Your son knows you are there for him no matter what. BTW, I wouldn't tell him that you may return to NZ at a later date.
I think your response to your H was nice as well as pleasant.
Continue moving forward. How's the packing coming along?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
