If their reason to reach out to her is to help your relationship with her, they really shouldn't interfere. (I wouldn't put it in those words in telling them.). Otherwise, whatever friendship/relationship they have with her should be their own choice or business, shouldn't it? In other words, you should not be telling them what they need to do. Let them make their own decisions and leave you out of it.
If I were in her shoes, I would only want them to be my friends if they liked me for myself.......not to help me, and not based on who I was married to.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
