Mozza -- I can't imagine wishing my H a happy birthday while he's off with some other woman. That's because I don't actually wish him a "happy" birthday, so I would feel dishonest saying it. Maybe my H will be disappointed and think poorly of me for not acknowledging his birthday, but guess what? I think poorly of him for cheating and lying and leaving and destroying my family. So I think we can call it even somewhat. I don't think that giving my H attention and Xmas gifts and tokens of love are appropriate while he's off with someone else. I know these things would make no difference in his decision-making. Nothing that I say or do will really make a difference. It's entirely up to him. The same is true of your W. If she is upset with you, so be it -- she's just trying to make you feel bad (deflecting her guilt) when SHE'S the one seeing someone else. That is messed up, friend.

Last edited by Ahoy; 11/23/14 05:34 PM.
M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!