Hello...my father never drank. We did not have alcohol in the house. He may have been a "workaholic". He provided well for his family and spent a lot of time with us during the winters when his work slowed.
I get it...I truly do...he wants out!! I know. I get it and it is clear. I gave him what he wanted. The kids and I moved out and D is in process.
Just for the record...we did go to 3 intense marriage sessions in the 4 years he was home. Pretty sure similar to Retroville.
Anyway, it just hurts and I am honestly just looking for someone to tell me its not my fault. I was a good wife and a great mom. I worked, kept the house always had a hot meal waiting, etc etc Just like many other women.
It is in my head that if I wasn't enough for HIM I will never be enough for another man if there were ever to be one. Like there is something wrong with me. In my head I know I deserve better but my heart isn't there. I still love him. And If you knew him you would be as shocked as the rest of us. He seemed like a different man the first few years he was back but yes, he back slid. Quit doing the work.
Anyway, it is embarrassing to type some of this. I sound pathetic. Some days are better. But, really I do know life is too short and I want to enjoy it with my kids and friends and not wonder about the crap anymore. Where he is who is he with. I do want to know he will be miserable though.
