New to DB - Need Help! Pt 2

[NH115]

Wife still relatively pleasant, though not affectionate with me. It's almost like she's doing her own little 180 on me. I can tell that she connects with me more than she says she does, based on the way she looks at me, but I'm not about to point that out to her.

I felt bad about trying to initiate sex today, though she hasn't mentioned it. If she does, I'll pass it off as "I got horny, I took a shot. Sue me".

I spoke with one of our mutual friends today, he basically told me to do what I was doing, even though he's never read DR or DB. He advised me to let the situation with the OM play itself out. He didn't betray any confidences, but he was sure that there's never been a PA. I never really believed there was either. He reminded me to take it day by day and not worry about the future. One thing he said that stuck with me: "The bottom may drop out one day, but it didn't today."

Goals for the coming week:

Not mention OM at all, and shut down her discussion of OM if she starts gushing about him.

Shut things down if she gets panicky and abusive like she did last week.

No more initiating affection. She needs to do some of the heavy lifting here, and she clearly does not want to right now.

I was able to demonstrate this week that I am the assertive, take-charge guy she says she needs. Continue to do more in that area this week. Continue to GAL.

Do. Or do not. There is no try.