My stbexw's father left her mother, her and brother when she was only 10 years old and moved 1000 miles away with OW (whom he ended up M to many years later and still is). Her mother stayed stuck. Never got on with her life. Obsessed over her lost M and R. She is now 70 years old and alone. As for her kids, her never being able to move on has hurt them as well. They saw their mother as a victim. It didn't help that their father really didn't care about them and treated them so badly. But, the fact that their mom didn't move on hurt them. It kept them stuck as well. W's brother is now a D dad of 3 girls and has been in and out of jail, unable to have a real relationship. W is now in full blown MLC and desperate to find her fathers love and respect before he dies....and blames her mother for her lack of having a R with her father.
What I am trying to say is moving on with your life isn't just for you. If you have kids it's for them as well. It is something that I know I MUST do for my D's, not just for myself. So, if you find yourself stuck and unable to move on for yourself, keep in mind I have seen first hand what being stuck can do to those that love you, that count on you. Do it for them as well as yourself. That thought has gotten me through some dark days when I felt like giving up. Maybe it can help anyone else out there who is having a hard time too.
