Thanks Toots, This helps a lot, you are right saying I will not beg, cry, or hold his ankles.. nope, I have too much pride for that kind of demonstrations. I did beg and cry once, just when he gave me the speech..."H: I do love you a lot and will always love you, I am just not in love with you anymore, not the same way at least, but I will always care for you, to the rest of my life, I will always be there for you" Yeah! Crap! I will do my best, I want to be his friend, most because I need to look after my boys and my financial stability if the divorce comes. And as far as I know he is thinking to serve me papers next month, we will see. I am somewhat feeling OK, I think is because he travels a lot for work, so we are used with him being away frequently. You know, I was born and raised in Brasil and I met my H at a sales meeting in Extapa, Mexico, we use to work for the same company, he in USA. Now, the story repeats itself for him, he is involved with a coworker from France, same company. It hurts, hurts and hurts...but I believe that the wound will heal one day, it will take quite a good time, but I will get there no matter what. I will do what you said, "lovingly distant". He knows me well and I do not need words for him to know I still love him. I just need to show him I am too moving on. By the way, when this all started, I asked the kids if they would like to move somewhere in UK. They loved the idea, my S17 was in London last year, a 10 days vacation and loved it. The english I learned in Brasil was more British then american. Funny how life is, now you are helping me. Life is really awesome if you think about it... and the world is very, very big for us to suffer so much for somebody that does not love us. Thanks for your kind words, it means a lot to me. Hope you are also finding peace within yourself. Pink
