Ganb8te 2 - WAH - lost in translation

[gan]

So, sent H a text (there was a mixup with the electricity bill - company sent me his bill at my address). He read it within minutes. No response. There didn't need to be of course but at one point in all of this he would have at least said thanks for letting him know. I feel like we are going backwards. I'm just not sure where to go from here.

In other news - are the any people who read dreams out there? In the last couple of weeks I've started having dreams that involve H. IN MY DREAM last night I attended some dinner party thinking it was a celebration after completing some big event. The guy who I had a crush on in middle school was there, as was my BFF at the time...who actually dated said guy. Part way into the dinner I learn that actually they were all part of a group and they were about to hit the clubs to pursue some gender-bending sex orgy thing. Then it comes out IN THE DREAM that H used to be a part of this group but he left it. There was some discussion around the fact that H is a pretty quiet, introverted guy but deep down he wants to jump in. Anyway, I elected not to join the group and woke up.

Back to the real world...now I'm not one to read into dreams but there are a few interesting things in there:
- My best friend from middle school is resurfacing in my head. She appeared in another dream where I learned about the OW. It was her! We were very competitive in school and by 8th grade we were enemies, partly because she got the guy when everyone knew I had the hots for him. By 12th grade she'd made the rounds with lots of guys. I on the other hand had been with no one, til I met my H in my 2nd year of university. Somehow this whole experience is bringing out feelings I had from middle/high school about not being good enough. Which is interesting because I don't actually feel that way now (or do I?)
- About my H being a quiet guy on the surface but deep down wanting to jump in: I can see lots of parallels with that in the real world. He said he wants more sex, more variety, more fun but did nothing to take us in that direction. I don't think he knew how. Instead he made me feel like I was the problem. Yes, I contributed to the situation and I didn't appreciate how big of an issue this was. But I know that I too was left wanting and ever so much wanted to work with H to address the issue...but he wouldn't.
- About me not joining in: so on Friday night I was walking home. I live in an area that has lots of gay bars and is frequented by tourists. Not infrequently I get stopped by a tourist and asked for directions but then because I'm walking home I end up walking with them and we get into a conversation (this is a 180 - putting myself out there a bit more socially). So on Friday night this lady asks me for directions to a bar, we get talking and she invites me to join her. I said no (I'd already had a few drinks after work) and went home. But then I got to thinking maybe I should have said yes (that is another of the 180s I am trying to work on - saying yes more). So maybe my dream is telling me that I should say yes to a gender-bending orgy when it is next on offer (just joking).

Thoughts? Anyone else out there having vivid dreams about their sitch?