Ss, the behaviors you're describing sound a LOT like the daughter of a friend of mine in Marin County. She wrote an article for Brain, Child and she uses the pseudonym Sadie for her daughter. I'm quite certain that if you reached out to her she would be thrilled to help you sort out how to talk to the teachers to get a more effective classroom experience for your D, as well as any friendship issues she might be having, etc. She writes to help parents advocate for kids who have unusual struggles.
Hope that helps.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
