Well, wet, I had years of "bad" chaos and spontaneity (a.k.a., crazy)...so I am actually enjoying the quiet, the structure, the planned-ness (with lots of wiggle room, this I took from how stbxw was and made it "medium") ...the peace. Sometimes it does feel weird though, tbh. But if it didn't feel weird at times, it wouldn't be change, right?
When I occasionally remember or miss the "good" chaos and spontaneity, I remind myself of the "bad", and store away the memories of the good. That usually puts a reality perspective on things.
I also have all 3 boys living at home, full-time. So between cooking, cleaning, school-bus driving, activity driving, grocery shopping, purging her "hoard", etc, by Friday I am "done" done.
My band does help, a lot, 1 practice a week, and I have to practice on my own for 30-60 minutes a day.
Some things I do:
Exercise Like kat, I talk to strangers (very unlike the old me) I cook, a lot, I find the concentration calming. Meditate Read for pleasure (currently reading the Game of Thrones series) Go to the free REI classes, even if it not some activity I do. Spend time hanging with my sons
One thing I started doing a couple/3 or so years ago was try some things I used to do, but quit doing during the M:
Backpacking Fly-tying I built a couple model tanks and airplanes Leather working
Slowly I've built an idea in my head of what I want my life to look like. I had 3 years to ponder it, lol!
Now I can build that life.
Like kat asked, what are some things she did that you can bring into your life? Cat breeding?
What are some things you did, and really liked, when younger that fell to the side during the M? Try them, see if they still are fulfilling some.
What do YOU want your life to look like, whether or not your W reconciles?
Because you are going to have to start building that life, if you reconcile, because it would not go back to the way things were. And if you D? You will have to do it anyway if you are not wanting to stay "stuck". Being how I am, I'd rather have a blueprint in place before any final decision is made...
What say you?
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
