Wow, lots of things to ponder and reflect on. This is not going to be super organized, but here goes..
labug: As to why I don't believe him when he says it's just "who he is" - that feels like a cop out. The whole "it's not you, it's me" thing generally means "I'm just not into you anymore but want to let you down easy." Heck, I said "it's not you, it's me" to a boyfriend before H when really I dumped him because I was super embarrassed of his social skills (or lack thereof). And why not say that, then? And saying it's just "who he is" is so vague. What exactly about who he is prompted him to do this? He hasn't said. You talked about how some people just aren't up for the challenge. I guess I still don't even get what was challenging - things seemed normal and fine to me. Maybe just the basic obligations/idea of being committed surpassed his challenge level.
This may sound like a 2x4 but you and I have known each other a long time here. I don't think anyone learns by being beaten about the head. That being said, who made you judge of whether he's copping out and if he is, isn't that good information to have? This is who he is. He blames you for all the unhappiness in his life. He said he felt forced into marriage, or something close to that.
What if he came to you with a list of whys. What would you do with that? Would you believe him then?
Set yourself a small goal for doing GAL this week. Do something nice for yourself while you're at it.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
