Newcomer Living in Hell 2

[bravo61]

What I mean to say with the quality statement is that her values have seemed to change.
Before BD, I was not near an involved Dad as I am now.
I put all the blame on myself for the broken relationship & put her on a pedestal and I expressed that to her.

I want to continue to be the man I've become, calm, considerate, trustworthy, learn how to be happy on my own.

Her askng me to change things I did was an issue I struggled with . She would ask me to for example kiss her bfore I left everyday. So I would do that for a while and over time she would ask for something else. Well I would get upset that she wasn't acknowledging my improvements and say to myself, nothing is ever gonna be enough for her. I actually expected to be rewarded for things I should've been doing all along. I was such an ahole. I see it clearly.

That's why its so important to me to end every interaction w/her with a hug if she wants one.

She texted me this morning about signing the papers. She mentioned that she's not happy but needs to move forward. Told her I wasn't goi g to stand in her way. That I cared about her so much and I didn't want to say hurtful tthings as I'm in pain a d could we finish it later.I regret telling her we could've been an awesome family because I've lesrned so much. Then she invited me to thanksgiving.

So Bug and Bond,
I'm just a broken man that loves his wife that is trying not to self destruct due the poor decisions I've made in my life thst has impacted thosebi love negatively. I'm so sorry I hurt my W and kids with my critical and selfish nature and i would give up years off my life to show them how I truly feel inside.

I guess I've been looking for things she's doing wrong (in my mind) thinking that will help me detach.