The point is that you did things in your M that pushed your wife away. She felt neglected and [insert other emotions here] to the point that -- right or wrong -- she felt she had to find another man to fill the emotional void.

How in the holy heck can you say that you "are the man to be with" and act like she's just too stupid to see it?

You have A LOT to prove to her. Start by being humble and knowing that you've got work to do on yourself. Then stop deleting texts from the OM and being self-satisfied you deceived her about it; and yes, a lie by omission is still a lie!

ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies