The glimmers of clarity tend to pull you back in. It's normal because it happens to all of us until you detach more. We all hungered for the changes and hopefully those changes mean waking up from a deep sleep like Rip Van Winkle. However, when it comes to divorce and settling up the debts/assets, you've got to put the emotions aside. If you don't, the emotions can truly wreck the negotiations, especially if he's being nice because you begin to second guess ask yourself the what ifs.
If he's waking up, time will tell, but I don't think he is. Yes, moments of clarity are there, but not enough to change the course he's taking. The divorce decree is just a piece of paper that is separating everything out and stating what each of you will receive. It relieves you of any responsibility for anything he does out in the cruel world and vice versa. Divorce doesn't mean that a couple can't get back together again at a later time and I've seen this happen frequently.
So, continue to duct tape your lips and be patient. I know it's tough and divorce isn't easy and you can't get it over and done with by waving the magic wand. It's a lot of paperwork and searching for documentation. Once it's done, you'll feel a huge relief and the burden on your shoulders will lighten up. Why? Because you no longer have to deal w/the lawyers or him, except on child issues. Trust me...you'll be fine, but you've got to get through the paperwork and the proceedings.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
