As you know, you have to work your program and let her work hers. You're very early in recovery. Being sober and being in recovery are 2 very different states.

I commend you for being there for your kids all this time.

It's good that she continues in AlAnon.

It sounds like your W afforded you a lot of grace over the years. Now it's your turn.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss