He was an unplanned pregnancy - and not our first unplanned pregnancy - and my wife was very upset each and every time. I would always shrug off her complaints, saying that it takes two to tango and that we were both responsible for the pregnancies. We BOTH got lost in the heat of the moment. She does not like being pregnant and does not like the infant stage. I also guilted her into breast-feeding even though she always hated breast feeding. I discouraged her from using birth control for religious reasons. I always wanted more children that she did. I think to a certain degree she felt like a baby-making machine and (appropriately) blamed me for it. Eventually she had an IUD placed. I also did not let our children watch television, further increasing her childcare duties. I have no doubt that this was a difficult time in her life. May I speculate that she felt completely out of control? I was not home a lot during those years either, due to my job. Man, I feel like the worst H in the world.
Originally Posted By: RAI
I did not force my wife to do anything. She could have gone out and had an IUD placed any time - she did it eventually anyway. She could have let the kids watch television despite my objections. She tried bottle feeding and even pumping, it just did not work for her. The kids did not take the bottle. Perhaps she was afraid of what I would think?
She is non-confrontational. She could have told me she was dissatisfied. Why did she never say anything? Why did she not tell me she was dissatisfied? Why was she so passive, until she walked?
RAI, seriously, can you not see this? You can't have it both ways. You can't say that you "did not let" your children watch tv and then blame her for not going behind your back. She was trying to be a good W, you just made it really hard.
Why didn't she say something? Did you actually listen? You use phrases like "shrug off her complaints" and "guilted her into" things. Were you actually trying to understand her side?
