Maybell, thanks for your insight. You do make it sound like a lost cause.
Ugggh... I know I am going to get a whopping 2x4 for this, but I am trying to make sense of this. So I am putting it out there.
I did not force my wife to do anything. She could have gone out and had an IUD placed any time - she did it eventually anyway. She could have let the kids watch television despite my objections. She tried bottle feeding and even pumping, it just did not work for her. The kids did not take the bottle. Perhaps she was afraid of what I would think?
I was present and I did/do a lot of parenting - despite completing a residency and fellowship (I am a physician). I toilet trained the children, I taught them to swim, I taught them to ride bikes, I taught them to sleep through the night in their own beds. I was the main disciplinarian. Despite this, her perception, formulated after the fact, is that I was not present. Her perception is obviously more important than all of that.
I did try to change and give her 100% leeway in parenting and I was met with more resentment. Now she has 100% leeway and is proceeding with D. How can I show empathy to her now, after what she has done. All the kids are in school in the morning. She has her whole AM and evenings free now. I am coming home 1 hour earlier. I am doing more, but I have a hard time with the empathy.
She is non-confrontational. She could have told me she was dissatisfied. Why did she never say anything? Why did she not tell me she was dissatisfied? Why was she so passive, until she walked?
