The best thing you can do about your kids emotions is let them have them. Don't try to make them feel better. No buying puppies or ponies or cotton candy. Emotions buried don't die, they just come alive again later.
Most of us are reacting to buried emotions now, as we walk this path.
Jefe I read some of your first thread, looking for what your married life was like before BD and didn't find much. I read that you got sober 4.5 years ago. Congrats!
Are you continuing your step work? Did your W go to AlAnon? Have you read or heard that getting sober also causes R problems? Seems crazy but it's true. The dynamic changes and many times the spouse who lived through the alcoholic nightmare and didn't work through their feelings, has a difficult time. It's like they're married to a different person, one they don't know but still looks like the one who caused a lot of pain.
Who was the primary parent before her affair?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
