Heather. DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY MORE TEXTS FROM YOUR H! I knew he was up to something when he started become the chatty cathy of the world. They are very seldom nice w/o some unlying reason for that behavior.
Now, I want you to go back and re-read what kml told you. This is a business deal gone bad and you need to put your business hat on and leave the personal stuff at the door. The emotions have to stay out of it and you need to be as clear and concise on the paperwork. Yes, it's a lot of paperwork, but it's some that has to be done w/every divorce and no, it's not the MO of his attorney. I had to do them and my xh should have, but he didn't. It's called discovery for a reason, i.e., to find out what your expenses, assets, debts, etc. are in order to lay the ground work for the divorce.
As for your h, he's hung up on tools and he'll be that way for a very long time. Yes, he had ample time to come get them, but that's history now. Sit down, write up everything that you've had to pay for that he should have provided for. You need to understand that this isn't just about his tools, he's passively angry that you and the girls left and left him w/a house that required cleaning and repairs. Don't be surprised if he doesn't come after you for some of the major repair work on the house. People in crisis don't look at things the way we do. They don't look for fairness and trust me, it's all about money and what they feel they are entitled to. As for the tools, heck he could have bought a whole new set of tools with the money he spent over the last couple of years. Didn't he also take out a large sum of money from his retirement and spend it? If he did, put that down as that could have been viewed as partially yours in the divorce settlement.
Please, please, no more texting w/him. Leave them alone. Do you still have my number? Call me if you need to talk.
Again, please listen to what we are telling you. We are trying to help you get through this and no matter what you think, he's not being nice because he's waking up. He's far from it and right now, he's very toxic and out for blood because in his mind, you took away everything he valued. Yep, he's not to be trusted.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
