I cracked under the pressure. I caved in and unloaded. It was desperation on my part to put one thing to rest. The thing that is the most senseless of it all and a grown man crying about his tools.
It wasn't the hope that he would say, "I'm sorry, I'm coming home."
It was the hope that one thing in my life would ease up and I could stop receiving discovery letters in the mail that require time and energy for me to fill out.
It was the anger and frustration that we are both spending all this money on a divorce when it could just easily be ended now with the same financial result for both sides.
It was anger that I had to pay another $1000 and I was at Walmart with our kids. D12 was asking for things for Christmas. Let alone our bills. Finally, had to call about heat.
It was the pressure that I have to put out another newspaper and, with each one, so far, there has been some miserable surprise waiting at the end of all the hard work.
It was my mother calling me after she had obviously been crying again.
It was the family that's all angry with me and judging me and requires another truck load of energy to deal with.
It was D20 who is planning to go back to school next semester. Which is actually the least of my worries.
He caught me at a weak moment
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
