Thanks rd500! I have been trying. I noticed that when I get very busy I feel better about this whole situation. Going to the Gym with the boys are helping. I talk to some close friends, I am seeing a therapist, just booked a hotel to go to Glenwood Springs over the Thanksgiving break, which I think will be a blast with the boys. They too need some break from all this crazy situation and I think will be a way to relax and have some fun. H does not know we know he was in Paris, visiting his brother and OW. Last time we spoke he said he was going somewhere to see someone, and he didn't want to say anything about because he did not know what he was doing. I said to him that if he was going to meet someone over a week vacation then it is because he was with that person for quite a while, even when he was with me. He said he was not, he is not and doesn't even know if he will be with someone, he just know he need to do this now. Sometimes I feel like my biggest pain is the rejection, to be damped, to be replaced, I feel I gave so much for this M and now he just gets out and go have fun. Sometimes I feel I love him to death and other times I feel I just don't want to see him anymore in my life. Ahhh! I don't know what to do next. I know somethings I need to do like getting a lawyer, but I keep postponing, almost like some miracle will happen. H will came to get the boys on sunday, what do I do? Do I talk to him? So far, we are friends, he hugs me and give me a kiss always when we see each other. But I am stock, I don't know what to do now, should I be his friend and welcome him with a smile or just be out of the house while I know he will be there? I think I am still in denial, I really need to work on my GAL and 180s. I feel I am not doing this right. I feel quite lost.
