Moments of "giddy"... I'll take 'em!

[fthnluv]

Prior threads:

New here, my fairytale gone wrong

It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

I agree fthnluv about the fallout with the children. In my sitch, H moved away so the aftermath of H's behavior is 100% on my shoulders. Because my girls are older they can detach a bit easier but the undercurrent of their emotions makes them vulnerable at a time when the decisions of the first man in their life represents so much.

So true. It is a lot more work having them far away but we do miss a lot of the drama that can happen in person with the OW or even just H so I'm not sure which is worse. My kids being little makes it harder in some ways as they cannot take care of themselves but I don't have to deal with as much (or as obviously conciously connected to this sitch) stuff with them like you have to with older kids who know what is happening and are trying to make their own way in life. Ugh. It's just no fun.

So I named this thread "Moments of "giddy"" because that is what I have been feeling some over the last couple of days. Now, those moments are fleeting and have only been a few but I'll take 'em! I think I have finally come to the very beginning stages of acceptance (although I am well aware I may and probably will cycle back to the beginning again) that this sitch is going to end in a D. I hate that that is the most likely scenario but I feel, in my heart, that that is what it's going to take to get H to see the truth, eventually.

I find myself thinking about my future and thinking that if H and I reconcile we will (eventually) likely have an even better M (and I loved it prior to this MLC mess!) or God will send me a new M with someone else who is even better than H! When I think about both of those scenarios it makes me a little giddy. I truly trust in God's plan for me and my kids and I believe this will be for our good and His glory.

So, as fleeting and few as they are, I'll take those moments and I hope to build on them until one day I can truly say I am fine and happy again.