I have ZERO evidence, I mean none, but I just feel in my gut she has been staying the night over there and they are sexually active. It would explain some of the odder behavior and withdrawing lately. What can I do? Nothing. It's just all conjecture.
Don't go by your gut feeling.
Last spring I was going out to the jazz club one Saturday night and went by the RH to see if my W's car was there - it wasn't. I just had a gut feeling she was with OM and my mind started its imaginative storytelling. So I sent a text asking if she wanted to join me at the jazz club. Lo and behold 5 minutes later she replied yes. She had been at a women's group meeting with friends and met me at the jazz club 15 minutes later.
Ever since then I don't trust my gut feelings as much. The jealous mind can really play tricks on you. Don't buy into it. If you have no evidence then practice thought stopping. Don't even venture down that rabbit hole - it'll drive you loco.
Give her the benefit of the doubt. Did you ever think that maybe she just enjoys having a bit of freedom to have fun and some camaraderie with friends after having spent years tied down raising young children. Just a thought.
It's a problem of misperceptions on both your parts. Looking at the world through different paradigms. And the only way you'll get a better understanding of her point of view and her paradigm is to ask her how she feels about things and then just listen without judgement. Then retreat to parse what she said and try to build an image of her worldview so you can start to see things more from her perspective. That's just a starting point.
Last edited by PeterV2; 11/21/1403:48 AM.
M: 59 W: 53 M: 9 yrs T: 14 yrs No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine) W moved out 11/18/2013 D-Day 12/14/2013 W moved back home 12/1/2014
