Newcomer Living in Hell 2

[bravo61]

Mr. Bond,
the realization that i needed to be a better man was not brought on by the BD. i get why it seems as if i'm not humble or compassionate. i have worked hard at being a better man and i'm proud of the work i've put in. i don't think she's a terrible woman but she is not the quality of woman she has been. i don't bring up any of the concerns i have regarding her behavior as its her life. if this is a mistake, its her mistake to make. just as i wasn't the quality of husband she wanted me to be. i truly regret that and i will be a better man the rest of my life. i hope that i get the chance to be a better husband to her.

so far as compassion, i am working on that. i validate every chance i get, and ask about her day and let her know how proud of all her accomplishments i am. i have also asked for forgiveness for all my wrongdoings. i never tried to convice her her memories weren't accurate or minimize her feelings of pain.

with all that said, i can't change the past or force her to forgive me. that has to be a decision she makes and i pray that she makes it. i love my wife. in the past, if someone were to cross me, they would be out of my life (prolly forever). that is something that i decided needed to change before i moved here and made concrete steps to reaching out to those that i had crossed of my list. i never thought that i would be in the position that one of the first people to test that resolve is my W. proudly though, its not a concern of mine as i still love her with all of my heart.

what's the best next step?