It is my sense that your W wants D14 around FIL for TG as she is feeling really desolate and desperate that she's losing him. In her mind, she wants D14 and D19 to spend this TG as W thinks that FIL will die fairly soon and she can then mentally check off the box in her head that she made the effort to corral girls around to spend his last TG together.
Unfortunately, it will not surprise me to learn later that W will most likely fall apart after FIL dies. It seems to me that she is so fragile that she would DO whatever it takes to imitate her father as a way to gain his approval. That is their dynamic to live out. It is their R.
Yes, I am not saying that it's okay for your daughters to be around this man for they've been vocal about it. Too bad that D14 doesn't have much sway in this since you and W are the "adults" with a car.
Ride this out. It will be over in not the too distant future.
I wonder if FIL has experienced rapid weight loss in the last few weeks and exhibiting some weakness in walking. If this is indeed the case, this means that the cancer has spread out pretty far and there isn't much left.
