I think there's only "what works" for your sitch. I do try not to be too eager. I switch up whether or not I reply right away. I'm a "by the phone" person, so I am prone to answering anyone immediately, but sometimes I wait 10 minutes and really think about my replies to BF.

I'm also wondering if I should go totally dark and start ignoring him completely, so you're not alone, there. But I think, for now, I'll just let him do the first contact.

ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies