Well I am certainly no expert but I do agree with you that sometimes these approaches can seem quite silly and like game playing. But some of these silly approaches do work.
In this case I think if you want to check in with your H over this shocking news I think it is ok. As long as you don't have some kind of ulterior motive or expectations. Just being kind is fine.
I've been reading up a bit on "going dark" and it is not being silent, it is treating your WAS as you would a neighbor. Offering help in emergencies and friendly small talk type conversation. Not getting into emotional conversations, not being a best friend. Just being polite.
I think this would qualify as polite and neighborly.
On the other hand, if it happened months ago and he didn't mention it when you saw him or communicated with him, is it weird to bring it up now?
Hugs to you and glad to hear this friend is doing ok. Lisa
