Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD - pt. 2

[gogofo]

The first issue during our attempted reconciliation was an issue with affection/intimacy versus sex. In a bad exchange on night she felt she was a commodity. She was only good for sex and any and all conversation or cuddling before hand were just what I pay in order to have sex. She felt used and un-valued again. We split up at this point again.

The second was pushing her to try to reconcile. In early October we were in a kind of rocky rough place and she was feeling frustrated by the limbo we were in. She felt we had not made much of any progress since the beginning of May.

I made the assumption she wanted to work harder and faster at rebuilding our M, so I found some fondness exercises and we proceeded with them. The questions made her feel forced to look at our M and when she did this it just brought up tons of bad feelings. It was basically like forcing her to relive all of the crappy parts of our M. This led to her signing papers to proceed with a D.

We have since had a more open and honest discussion about what caused these issues. We are sharing more and have both learned from these last two hurts we caused each other.

The first separation was a combination of many things, but the basics are she felt un-valued and not respected, etc. Not to sum it up in one sentence, but there you go.