I do understand what you are saying. My xh was like that the second time he left. He kept piddling around, threatening to leave and doing anything and everything to annoy me so that I would put him out. Finally 19 days before Christmas, he threatened to leave for the final time on a Sunday. Monday evening, I say him down and told him that if he wanted to leave then go now and not wait until after Christmas. He cried like a baby; telling me he didn't know what to do and he was confused, etc. After that conversation, I never said another word and the following week he left while I was at work. He did state one evening, over dinner, he couldn't understand why I wasn't upset or thought things were normal and proceeded to tell him that I wasn't the one that wanted to leave. It didn't take long for him to pack a few things and disappear. He was actually bumming couches to sleep on and then found out that it wasn't a good idea to run away from home around the holidays. LOL!
Any way, I didn't file, but I did request a draft separation be prepared per his instructions and I had addressed everything he wanted...that dragged on 1 1/2 years and when I finally stopped the entire process, that's when he filed and I was notified just before the holidays. By that time, I wanted the divorce and get rid of him out of my life. He was toxic and pure evil. The bridges were burned and there was no going back.
So, yes, I do understand how you feel. My question to you is this....are you ready to boot him out? He may be nice right now, but he very well may turn ugly because you are forcing him to make some decisions that he really doesn't want to make.
If you have any questions about my situation, I'll be happy to answer them for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
