Mozza (5)

[25yearsmlc]

I just heard an old Dale Carnegie speech on the radio while driving. It was so obviously true, so innately clear to me, that I forgot that some people do not know this. What He said has been empirically verified literally hundreds of times...and it's this:

People learn faster and change their behaviors FAR more effectively with POSITIVE feedback, than with negative.

So, even if you were appointed by God to "improve" the people you're supposed to love, you'd be wrong to do it your way.

As Wonka said, "Stfu with the criticisms" and when you feel the need to correct someone to "improve" them, with your uber "high expectations" (another cliched euphemism for being critical, imo), look in the mirror and work on yourself some more.

You know the old bible quote about the plank in your eye and the speck in theirs??

Mozza, Don't backslide on this b/c it will set you back a lot. I swear your kids will NOT BENEFIT by your criticism! They'll be damaged.

If you learn nothing else here today, please remember that we said this^^.

Also, the phrase "constructive criticism" seems like a contradiction in terms to me b/c criticizing people is rarely, IF ever constructive. IT's destructive. The only exception I can think of is when someone ASKS you for "Constructive feedback"...and even then you better phrase it positively.


I think you might really benefit from reading some Dale Carnegie books on "How to Win Friends & Influence People" b/c he goes into detail about this. And there is SO much research validating his thesis, and I know I benefit from reviewing it every few years...

There is just no excuse for you to keep this up b/c it's so unhealthy and so unhelpful and your own stated goals are NOT achieved with it.

So MAYBE the reality is that you just like feeling superior, and that might be the source of the critical nature you have been using. (Possibly??)

Change it. You're in charge of what comes out of your mouth. Change it asap.
Seriously.

You'll be glad you did, and so will your family.