It was 7am at that point - now 5.30pm and just back from work! Found my notes now. So, for the drama triangle, we first discussed the 3 points of the triangle when they appear negatively:
Persecutor - attacking, critical, angry Victim - doesn't feel 'safe' enough to ask for what they need - manipulates Rescuer - steps in and acts on your behalf - rather than letting you do it
When people are in one of these states, conversations/interactions don't tend to happen in healthy, straight and direct ways. Often the persecutor will talk in terms of - you did this, you never do that, you always do this etc. The 'victim' won't be direct and assertive, and may use 'ploys' instead of just asking for what they want. The rescuer is a 'fixer' who doesn't let others grow, take risks and make their own mistakes - but takes things from people and does the things for them.
The more positive roles on the drama triangle would be:
Potent (to replace persecutor) - able to have a straight conversation and ask for what they need or want. Vulnerable - able to express how they feel in a direct way. I feel sad about this, I felt lonely. Responder - leaves the problem with the other person - "I can see you feel upset about this. Is there anything you want from me."
The positive roles are more adult states instead of persecutor (critical parent), victim (child) and rescuer (nurturing parent.)
I haven't read it, but the counsellor recommended 'Games we play' by Eric Berne.
And the message was that often 'simple' changes in how you express yourself can move us from - say - victim to vulnerable. But these can make a big difference in how we relate to others.
Hope this is helpful to someone! Toots :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
