I set up an unhealthy pattern early in our M. I went from home to college to marriage without breathing. I never gave myself time to get established as an independent adult and as a man.
I took the "happy wife, happy life" thing too far and hooked my happiness to her. Since she can't make me happy (nobody can) I became resentful, lazy and directionless. I made everything about keeping her happy. When she would have meltdowns about anything, I would attend to her and try to make her feel better. Sometimes it worked, but now she thinks she's entitled to that.
You will get a lotout of reading "Co-Dependent No More," methinks.
