FWIW...... a female perspective.....

[twinmom]

Jefe, your using DB as a weapon! Something about your attitude and posts strike a nerve with me.
I can't put my finger on it but do you think that maybe your wife feels it too and maybe that's hurting your situation?

I am not trying to be negative or mean but I am not going to sugar coat it because that's not my style...
(To me) you come across as self righteous, arrogant and condescending.
You seem to want to punish your wife with guilt for leaving a marriage that wasn't happy.

Yes, the affair is WRONG but as Starsky once said, he was able to forgive because he made mistakes too and it wasn't for him to judge whose mistakes were worse.

I am rambling now but I just wanted to give you my point of view..... fwiw