Don't know if I belong here....

[Okabe]

MrBond you were right.
There was no response. I couldn't leave well enough alone. So I asked her: "so that is a no to my message, I assume?" to which she replied: "I never said you couldn't hug me."
And then the first relationship discussion since the end of September began. It wasn't lengthy.
I told her that I wasn't just going to hug her if it was unwanted and That I had no idea what she wants (she still replied "I don't know"). I admitted that I tried for too many years to change her with out changing myself and that I was sorry for that.
I said that the only thing that I could do was work on me and that she'd have to decide what she wants, and that she knows what I want and that hasn't changed.
I said that perhaps I wasn't the man she wanted anymore, but that wasn't my decision. I said maybe she'd found someone else and was involved with someone online emotionally, that I didn't think so, but that it was something that I had feared/ considered. She said she understood that fear, but neither confirmed or denied any emotional affair.
I said I'd leave her alone and not bug her for answers, that she needs to come to that on her own without me in her face about it.

I know I should have left well enough alone. I am backing off again. Got to work harder on detaching and GAL. It was a lapse of judgement, but what was done is done I guess.