I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Cali-

Yes the joking helped to decrease the concern about it- though I need to let him go more for sure.

The EMDR- I find it really helps me a lot. The thought is that the eye movements or hand tappers ( I think there are other ways to do it but these are what my therapist uses) basically distract the conscious mind and allow for accessing the subconscious and feelings and memories that were stored in an unhealthy way or that incite certain reactions. Then by continuing to free associate thoughts and memories ( that often do not seem related or to make sense, but the brain " gets it") the thoughts and feelings are rewired and stored in a healthier way. Many times, including today, what I come up with seems a far cry from the issues I'm dealing with. But I leave there feeling better.

The area it has been most studied is PTSD, which makes sense- trying to reframe the trauma in the brain so associations aren't so debilitating.

The one other thing to know is the rewirong process continues at a subconscious level. So your W may be more sensitive to weird things ( ie that window rolling down motion that upset her).