You didn't answer my question. Why do you NEED this information and what purpose does it serve?

Suppose she says, right now, that yes, she's seeing someone on the side.

How does you having a CONFIRMATION of an affair change what you can control, what you can't, and how you react?

ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies