I don't have a problem paying my fare share of child rearing. Right now with the expenses for the children the way they are, it is actually about where is should be. What I don't like about it is I have no control over how the money is spent, and she has no obligation to spend it on the children. Over time I am supposed to get more time with the children. My personal expenses feeding, housing, and entertaining them will go up. This is a problem with family law, so I guess it's not really appropriate here.
I'll look at those cost saving websites. I've already done a lot of cost saving, like getting rid of my satellite dish, changing insurance, etc.
Refinancing the house might actually help if I can make it happen. If I can get a good enough appraisal I can consolidate the debt.
How did we get into so much debt. Part of it was the deterioration of the marriage. We didn't communicate on spending. While she denies it, she also spends a lot on things that she doesn't need but makes life easier. A habit she still keeps up. I've also gone into a lot of debt on lawyer bills, just got my last one I hope, marriage counseling, and a series of unfortunate events.
Internet dating [censored] royally. I would agree that I am not ready to date for a serious relationship, but it would be nice to have some casual dating. I have looked on Match.com, OKCupid, and POF. There is not much on there that I find even remotely interesting. I watch what I eat, but it is apparent from these websites that most people don't. I live in a medium sized college town, but that is not a plus. The dating scene here caters to the 20 year old crowd. A lot of the attractive ladies (mostly grad students) on the websites are either really picky (more than me) or extremely liberal. The women on these sites get around 15 emails a day so it's hard to get noticed. My church is a definite dead end too. All my friends are married with kids, and mostly homebodies. I freely admit I have no game. I'm terrible at meeting women, but I have little interest in that PUA stuff.
When I am financially recovered, and have my emotional act together I am likely going to look overseas for dating. I just don't trust our culture of disposable marriage, and how willing western women are to participate in it. You can say that not all of them are like that, and I agree completely. A friend of mine found a wonderful woman. I just think those are few in America. Statistically international marriages are more successful than domestic ones. A 20% divorce rate compared to a over 50% one here.
I hate that I've given up on trying to get me ex back, because even after everything I still love her. If I didn't I wouldn't have these strong feelings would I. I just can't keep throwing myself against that wall without causing more harm to myself.
