I know that nobody on this board can tell me what I want in life or what decision I should make. I've been trying to step outside of my sitch and try to look at it as if it was happening to a friend- what would I tell a buddy if he told me his wife had cheated on him before BD? Then started dating someone during a separation? Had been untruthful to him at various times throughout the past year?
Would I tell him that he deserves better? That he should file for D and move on from his W? Or would I tell him that only he can decide what he wants and he should do what makes him happy? I have friends on both sides of that fence that I consult with.
So my meeting with the atty is scheduled for tomorrow. Haven't had a lot of contact with W- in fact it's all been through email the past couple weeks. And despite how nasty I've been at times (as a result of finding out pre BD info and her refusal to explain), why is it so difficult to say D is 100% what I want (or need to do)??
In one of our email exchanges earlier this week, I asked W about paying for the dissolution and how Christmas probably wasn't the best time for it. No lie, her response was 'I'm ok with not going through with the dissolution yet. You're the one who decided to rush this along. I'm still torn on all of this..'
What?!?! That eventually led me to thinking about breaking it to the kids this close to Christmas. Not only would that ruin it this year, but would they always look at Christmas as the time their parents told them they were getting a D?
I understand that this would be the perfect time to just lay low and let things play out. But would it really be about wanting to save my M or would it just be about 'winning'??
