Married young, W had affair w/ coworker

[UpperCu]

I will be leaving town to visit my family and he seemed to suspect that since I was going to be gone that W was planning an escapade with OM... He is probably right on that.

I would be angry, but she is choosing to go down this self destructive path and I feel like that really is not my problem anymore. What is my problem is that I don't want her and OM hooking up in my house, or W clearing out all our possessions in my absence.

Only plan I can think of is to STAY in town to guard against the wayward one. I am willing to rearrange my holiday plans, which I can do at no cost, and some friends have invited me over for Thanksgiving already. I'm open to suggestions.

I'd hate to see you change your plans, just to respond to her. But then again I'm a BIG "affairus interruptus" guy, too, and while you can't STOP them from continuing their affair, there's certainly nothing that says you can't occasionally make it DIFFICULT for them!

If it were me . . .

I would first announce to her that you've changed your plans and you'll be staying home. If she asks you why, be mysterious and just say something like "Things changed; this works better for me now" or something similar.

Then, I WOULD leave, as originally planned. Give her very little notice for this -- one day tops or even same-day (you have no kids involved, so you can do this). Again, when asked, say "something came up," and no details.

Then, I would -- daily -- come up with some plausible reason why you might be coming home suddenly. (something at work? feigned distress with your own family, and you may just wanna head home after all? other??)

The idea is that you don't have to actually BE home to interrupt her hook-up. You only have to have the CREDIBLE THREAT of suddenly being home.


Starsky

Yes!! I love a good bluff!

Wheels are turning...I could also tell her I'm staying and give her zero warning I am leaving. Let her think I'm just mysteriously busy, when I'm really out of state.