Thanks for the kind words. You rock! Dunno why I've been drawn back here. I was active 2007-2008 a lot. My marriage didn't make it. Mostly because I made the road back too smooth and didn't lay down boundaries. I tried the un-sustainable super-Theoden DB act and I couldn't keep it up. What I didn't do is man up and step into my own life. Most of my GAL and 180's were just ways to stop my wife from trying to end the marriage. I never actually sat down and asked, "Who am I, what do I want?" Mostly I should have laid down boundaries much earlier. I think it would have shown my wife to be an entitled cheater and I could have had clarity YEARS earlier.
Shodan -- Train makes a GREAT point. The goal is to create SUSTAINABLE change in your marriage. That takes 2 people to do. DB-ing is all about getting you THIS point. It doesn't really cover the piecing part so much. I think MWD should write a book on how to piece AFTER an affair. She says straight out that healing after an affair is heavily dependent on the cheating spouse being honest, open and transparent.
