FWIW...... a female perspective.....

[UpperCu]

Sorry to get back on topic everyone... I wanted to share something I found that my W wrote to a friend one day after DDay that shows how my pursuit of her was perceived. I obviously had not started DB'ing at this point and was pursuing, begging, pleading, being spineless, etc. Hopefully this is helpful for someone out there.

In her words (names redacted):

"i've never been on my own. i went from having a boyfriend to dating UpperCut....and marrying UpperCut. and he's been amazing.
but then i crave these other life experiences that ive never had....
and a couple weeks i acted on it....
knowing full well that it would probably end my marriage.
but it hasn't
so know....at first UpperCut was like, ok if you want to stay married you can't work with OM's employer anymore and you can't see OM ever again.
i said no.
and he still keeps on wanting to work it out
its like no matter what i say or do...its okay
and its just making me feel more and more guilty and selfish and withdrawn from UpperCut"