This week has been very hard. I know H is in Paris w/OW, I even had an idea who it is. Someone from his work. It hurts. I am trying my best, and really trying to exercise everything I have been learning from the threads I read, the advises that are given to other broken hearts that are here. As a matter of fact this is the place I find comfort. It will be nice when I start getting some replies. I have been working, exercising, I went to the bank to get some info on my house because I do not want to sell the house. H spoke about selling it and I said I do not want, he said it is fine w/him, that we will see. He will probably try to get some agreement in some other way. H changed so much in these last months, it's like he is another person. At least H sent a text to the kids saying that if they need anything they can call him. Sometimes the though of him w/OW feels like killing me inside, it feels like it is a nightmare that won't end. My three boys and me just came back from the gym, it feels good to work out and make me sleep well too. Besides, it feels good to be in shape, look good. The boys and I decided to go to the mountains for the Thanksgiving weekend, have some fun together, they are troopers and we all get along very well. H doesn't know our plans, I don't even know if he will care much about. It will be the first Thanksgiving that H is not home and I think it's good we are not in a house. I know I will be OK with H or without, I need time to heal and God to guide me. It just feels so difficult to believe that there is any chance for my M. With all what is going on since it all started I don't even know if I can forget, forgive...Am I going to be that strong and have such a spirit to just put everything in the past? I don't know yet.
