Starting a new thread-from on another thread (thread for vge1).
My DH is a WAS and now living with his parents. His mother spoon feeding the MLC persona. UGH! Our children very confused especially our 7 yr old who has no problem going with daddy anywhere. Just wants Daddy back with mommy.
Other children find it hard to love their daddy when they see the hurt in their siblings and in me.
Don't want to do anything rash or quick since I know my DH is not himself.
What do I do when my DH wants to take our two youngest children out of town to visit their brother? The "brother" that lives out of town is the result of the affair my DH had as few yrs ago. I've really counted this other child as my son and he calls me mom. I've always been part of the visitation schedule but now DH doesn't want me to go and will take his own mother instead. That's fine but just received a text that he's planning on taking our children on a FRi and Sat.
The issue I have is that we've always gone during the week to avoid seeing the mother of this other child. Now since it's a Fri and Sat that means my DH's mother will finally meet her.
My MIL had been asking for that woman's phone number because she wants "to speak to her grandson". well, we've never given her the number because there was no need to have the two communicate. My MIL is curious about everything and especially now she is my DH's "best friend". She's got her son back and gets to be mommy/friend.
my MIL gets what she's always been curious about.. meeting and speaking to the OW. HHMMPPHH!
I am really trying to hold my tongue on this...I am very uncomfortable with my children being around that previous OW.
our children have always had the option to go with my DH and I to go visit their brother if they aren't busy with other activities. But the only caveat I have is that our children not be exposed to the daycare of their brother (where she has all her friends work) nor that they see the OW nor her home.
At first, all our children were coming with us because I thought it was very important that they bond with their brother and that he get to know and love them. But as our children have gotten older, only our younger children have gone because older ones were busy. They all love their brother and I love him as my own. He hugs and loves me too. Now, my DH isn't wanting this. I supported my DH during the whole court process for the child support and I don't think my DH wanted anything to do with the other child until I said, you need to be the dad that's there for him. Don't abandon this child like your biological dad- it's not your son's fault.
Anyway, here we are - abandonment of our whole family. He still sees our children, he might see them today cuz I offered Mon and Wed and every other weekend. He said fine.
Thanks for letting me rant. I'm just confused. He came by again on Sat to take more clothes, shoes, and even took his two favorite mugs out of the kitchen cupboard. Weird!
I'm giving my DH space and time. He just takes it. His nature has always been, I cry- he leaves the room. I distance myself - he doesn't pursue.
What do I say when I'm uncomfortable with exposing our children to the previous OW and perhaps a new OW. Can I say anthing? Can my children say that they don't want to be around another person?
Please stick to one thread or we get confused... so many people and details. Posts to you will get lost otherwise.
Unless your first thread got to 100 posts and is locked, in which case I apologize for stating the obvious.
---(G)GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
You may also want to post in MLC or newcomers. This thread doesn't get a lot of traffic.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
