I have been trying to get back into the dating scene. I am not having much success. I am not sure if it is my area, lack of available women that would be interested in a guy like me, my age or the fact that I have never been good at approaching women or dating in in the first place. I have started to become a little frustrated with that.....still smiling, anyway. I am not sure life will ever be as good as I once thought it was, but I am hopeful.
SP,
I really would have preferred to PM you on this topic, but, since PM isn't available on this forum, I'll throw a little risk to the wind and give you my take on this.
Not sure where you are, or the amount of "available" ladies, but things may not be as bad as you think!
You are actually in a good place; do some web searching and you will find that the dating game is actually in your favor and it is not as tough as it seems! You and I are the same age group and initially, when I went back "on the market", I found that not only was I getting approached regularly, I was getting approached by everything from 21 - 45!
This is actually very common! As we (men) get older, the dating market actually gets more favorable to us; we have a larger age pool to choose from! This allows you to actually be picky when it comes to selecting whether short term or long term! Toss in the fact that many younger men are no longer willing to either date or commit to an LTR / Marriage (on strike), there seems to be a shortage on men looking for solid relationships!
I understand the thing about approaching women; I myself have never been the forward type and was generally an introvert. Part of my GAL was to be more socially approachable and to find social groups I could relate to. I did this by just "practicing" talking to people; men and women, whenever the opportunity arose. Once I got past that, I started to focus strictly on women; things as simple as smiling and saying "good morning/afternoon" to those I passed or striking up conversations in the check out line! I noticed the more I did, the more comfortable I became and the more my confidence grew. The more confident I got, the more positive the reactions seemed to be.
I then put it to the test whenever I was in a social climate (Coffee shop, pool hall, club, etc). After the first couple of attempts at simply talking to women, my confidence increased more and it became very easy. Not only that, but the way I carried myself naturally improved with the confidence. It didn't take long before I was being approached or women would start conversations with me!
There are tons of good articles about the dating game on the web, but the key points are always generally the same: 1) Get in shape and look attractive 2) Carry yourself with confidence 3) Be confident with your approach; just don't be an @ssh0le! 4) Be interesting & be interested in the conversation! 5) DON'T look / be needy; don't be too quick to please! 6) DON'T put her value above yours; DON'T put any of them on a pedestal! 7) Look for Indicators of Interest (IOI's)
If you are in good shape, take care in your appearance and exude some confidence, dating should be fun and relatively easy! You just have to take that leap back in to dating.....trust me I know.....it was 22 years for me! I got lucky; I met a very nice lady very early on that is highly compatible with me and am currently enjoying and exclusive LTR with her!
But then again, you don't have to be exclusive either! Take your time, have some fun with it if you choose!
Word of caution when dating in the modern age and if you decide to get into a future committed relationship; suggest you research some key words:
Me: 44 X WAW/MLC: 42 Kids: S21, D11 BD: July 2013 (ILYBNILWY) EAx2: Busted 1 OCT 2013; 25 Mar 2014 Status: Divorcing & Done! Waiting to be final (Nov 2014?) & glad it's finally over!
