I hear what you're saying, but at the same time, I don't want reconciliation at all costs. I need my dignity far more than I need him, and I don't know that I can keep my dignity and stay with someone who doesn't accept responsibility for lying. I'm not saying that it's definitely a dealbreaker or that I'm about to give my H an ultimatum, but it's important enough that I'm not ready to write it off.
I've thought about posting in piecing but H and I are still in a pretty tenuous place and I don't know that we're going to stay in piecing, plus what you said about less traffic. Maybe I will add a "piecing" note to my next thread title?
ETA: In looking at your post, I think I conflated two issues. I *think* I can find a way not to seek confirmation and to find trust in other ways. I don't know that I can or should let go of my expectation viz a viz an apology.
