Mozza (5)

[Mozza]

Thanks jim0987, challenge accepted.

My 180s.
1. No criticism. Harder than it looks because it seeps into everything, without me realizing it. Still, I feel I'm doing well on this front. 7/10
2. No control. If it's not life-threatening, I let her do just about anything. She forgets to return some kids stuff? I buy it again. 8/10
3. No pursuing. Until the day she left home, I cried and begged and made it plain I wanted her to stay. Since her departure, it's been much easier to keep my distances and not pursue. 8/10
4. Validation. I used to be a problem-solver and now I just validate her feelings and ask questions, when she initiates conversation about something she cares about (work). 7/10
5. Less self-deprecation. It's part of my sense of humor and general perception of what is humility. Quite hard to change. 4/10

My changes
1. New clothes. Not a lot because I already have tons and they look fairly good. Still, I'm on the hunt for more.
2. Workout: 7 minute exercise daily. I can feel and see the difference after about a month. And the kids love to take part.
3. Body grooming. I now have a cleansing gel, a new body gel, anti-wrinkle care, went to a beautician, let my hair grow a little, groom body hair, wear cologne,... I've got a couple of spontaneous compliments: "You look better, not sure what it is"
4. New recipes. I've added my first deserts, among other things. I'm taking a class this Friday.
5. Daily pic on Instagram. It's a small thing, but it forces me to look around for beauty and it's a great record of my GAL.
6. Record "3 grateful things" daily to focus on positive.
7. Reading about relationships. This is new for me and comes a little late for this M...

2-3 things I want to improve about my marriage (DR, chapter 3)
This is delicate because my W has moved out and has a relationship with OM, and to her it's clearly over (I hope it's the fog).

1. Meet for an agreeable lunch at least once a month. Lunch was pleasant and she said so to my parents. Success.
2. Email about stuff that’s important and emotional. She tells me about her work issues and aspirations. At this stage, I say it's a success.
3. Have one email exchange that she wouldn’t show to her OM! Not easy because she initiatives, but I don't think she'd show him that we joked about Kim Kardashian's butt. Success.
4. Getting a positive reaction to her love language. Her LL is words of affirmation. She gave me a capital-letter THANK YOU when I wished her luck for her last day with her boss-from-hell. Success.

Looks like I need a new list. I'm tempted to go for a second round of this one though.

I'll address 25yearsmlc's questions soon.