The gift of time . . .

[gan]

Hey, Elsa. Seems like (3) is a cheese less tunnel, no? Somehow I think you are going to have to find it within yourself to trust this process and not look to him to reaffirm. If reconciliation is your goal, then think hard about how you can let go of some of your expectations (like needing an apology) so as not to create an obstacle that your H can't climb over. Those things are under your control. Don't leave it to your H to figure out ways to get over his obstacles.

I wonder if there is any sense moving your thread over to piecing? There's not as much traffic there but there are a few people (vets included) who are a little further along than you and they might have experienced these feelings and figured out ways to deal with them.