I have had the same thoughts about my H. Like "why does he not realize that a D will only make life harder? That it won't fix anything?"
I finally had to give up on those questions, or any questions that would require them to respond rationally instead of emotionally.
They're in such a different place than we are emotionally. They don't see things like we do, and there is no use trying to get them to share our vision.
The more people that tell them they're nuts, means they have more opportunity to steadfastly defend their decisions.
Best to go with the flow and accept she is going to think however she will. (And yes, ask almost anybody here and we'd agree it's mostly crazy/selfish, but that's life.)
Meanwhile, you're right. W does not get to treat you like a Residence Inn. Pop in to do laundry, eat, get some "Family Time", and then go off to do whatever.
It doesn't work that way.
What can you do to show her through your actions that this is unacceptable? The only thing you can do is behave in a way that communicates your stance.
Thoughts?
---(G)GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
