Not all MLCers fit one size. Some can be as nice as can be and apologize all of the time and yet be out of the house and there are others who simmer and spew often and then you have the very nasty ones. Not all of them turn out to be Jekyll/Hyde and not all of them communicate w/their spouses and children.
Each MLCer will handle his/her crasis based on their personalities, life events and their childhoods/issues.
As for your h currently being nice, have you rocked his boat at all? Generally, some of them will begin to get angry and nasty when the spouse doesn't agree w/them on how to split out the finances, assets, etc. Also, if the spouse tries to tell them what to do or wants to talk about he relationship. I gather from your postings that this may not have been the case in your situation. When you just go along w/everything they say and want, they can be just a nice as can be.
Try not to assume what you h is doing or how he's feeling. He's got a lot of emotional baggage to sort out and the crisis is driven by depression and emotions. Some can become very good at hiding what's going on internally from others, i.e., mask wearing.
Go, have a great time, and leave your MLC issue at home. Eventually you will not think of him as much, but it takes time and lots of patience.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
